When to Let It Go

Okay, so you know that song by Keyshia Coles, “Shoulda Let You Go”? I believe I am the poster child for that type of situation! It took me two years to finally get the hint that his ass just wasn’t for me. It came at a price, but you aren’t given anything you can’t handle. For me there was nothing tying us together so I was able to make a clean break. For some it doesn’t come as easy. Sometimes children are involved and if the parent that has custody is petty, then you’re in for a hell of a fight. Especially if you are the one who broke it off. If you live together, someone has to move out and let’s face it; rent isn’t exactly cheap unless you have some kind of assistance. So then you are stuck together in an emotionally cramped apartment.

So when do you realize it’s time to just go your separate ways?

1. ZERO communication. I’m not one for expressing my inner most thought. I am known to just ramble on aimlessly, but if you can’t talk to the person you say you love about what’s going on with you emotionally then that person is not for you. And if you have to fight for them to tell you anything then you are just wasting your time because if they aren’t talking to you now they sure as hell won’t be talking to you five years down the road.

2. Cheating. This should be #1 but why post the obvious first? LOL. If all you want to do is jump in and out of bed with the next chick or guy you think is hot then that person you’re with is not for you. Why take yourself through unnecessary drama if all you want to do is cheat, especially if you live in that emotionally cramped apartment.

3. Dreading the end or your work day. This is important, if you can’t stand going home to your partner, then maybe it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship. If o'clock hits and you’re looking for more work maybe you need to get out while you still have some sanity.

4. Dreading Sex. This could probably go under number 3. If you can’t stand having sex with them then this relationship is doomed. I don’t think an explanation is necessary here.

These are just a few of my favorite Shoulda Let You Go warning signs. Of course there are a 100 more but no one has time for that.

TayhlerMade
http://twitter.com/tayhlermade
http://twitter.com/WordInTheStreet

Cheating Passes

Someone from my past recently caught up with me on Facebook, we spoke briefly but I never added them as my friend. Anywho this chick said she wanted to talk to someone who wouldn’t judge her… Now, I was confused by this statement , actually this statement pissed me the hell off considering she judged me all through my preteen and early teenage years (anywho that’s another story coming real soon). I gave her my cell , she called and we talked… Long story short she caught her fiancé who she has a child with, cheating a few weeks ago and threw him out. So he t ells her that they need to talk about custody and money. This was just his excuse to get back into his home. They sexed and she took him back. She said everyone deserves a “Cheating Pass.” My question was “WHAT THE FUCK is a cheating pass?” she stated that she forgave him for his “latest” affair , he had a limited amount of them and they’re all used up. HUH?!?!?!

Most of us have been cheated on. I’m willing to say that we all have been some point in our dating lives. And most of us have turned a blind eye to this. Maybe we were willing to let this slide because they were always coming home to us. But this was a secret… it had NO NAME attached to it. It was simply called “CHEATING” and we left it at that… but to give it a name “Cheating Pass” and try to make it acceptable is a NO GO! I’m not standing up on my high horse and say ing that I’ve never been cheated on… Twice and I chose to ignore them both. I was also the cheater at one point. That was a weakness on my part and I have come to grow from that experience but that’s neither here nor there… My problem is her willingness to continue to turn a blind eye to this… exactly how many cheating passes does one get ? She stated that this wasn’t his first time cheating but was sure it’d be his last? *side eye* I’m sure.

I call it karmic retribution. Sorry it is what it is. I cheated on an ex-boyfriend and went through a world of hurt with my latest ex. Who knows what the hell she went through in the 15 years since I’ve last seen or spoken to her… but what goes around comes around and she got exactly what’s coming to her. Maybe it’s finally time for her to fall off her high horse and it’s just too good to not laugh at… maybe. Who the hell knows? I told her I couldn’t help her and really didn’t see the need for her to call me given our history. God says forgive those who trespass against us. But he didn’t say we had to forget… Anywho the moral of the story folks, Fuck the cheating passes… all you’re going to end up with is a painful STD, extreme heartache or both!

TayhlerMade
http://twitter.com/tayhlermade
http://twitter.com/WordInTheStreet

Stepping the Sex Game Up

It’s no real secret that for a lot of women the sex drive can become nonexistent in a relationship. What with children, the house, the job, health issues, outside activities, and keeping their husband/man happy, there just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day. That and the fact that cloning of humans has not been approved. It seems that the husband keeps falling lower and lower on the totem pole. Personally I believe he should be at the number one spot. His needs to be taken care of just like the children because let’s face it, t hey act just like the kids most of the time. I know it's sometimes hard ladies, (no pun intended) but you CAN NOT let the sex go away!! Once that’s gone there is nothing left but healthy conversation and most of the time most men don’t want to talk about anything that doesn’t involve a ball, computer or someone lying naked.

A man should never have to beg his girlfriend or wife for sex, as they will quickly tell you (that is if they have the balls to) there is always someone else willing to go face down and ass up for him, regardless of what he looks like. You should want to dance for him or swing from a very sturdy object for his pleasure. He’ll be very appreciativ... maybe. The top things a man will fuss about: not enough sex and food. I’m not saying he’ll remember your birthday, anniversary or will be picking the kids up from school, but he’ll sure be a lot happier coming home. Unless of course you'd rather he'd be happy that he’s sitting on the highway instead of in his home unappreciated. And who knows he may very well help out more if he knows that the bedroom games will go on especially frequently.

Ladies be more open to experiment. I’m not saying have threesomes but try having it somewhere other than your house (NOT YOUR GRANDMOTHER'S HOME). On the side of the road when it’s raining too hard is always fun, hell even at night on the balcony or the deck of your house. WHEN IT’S DARK AND THERE ARE NO LIGHTS FACING YOUR HOME! LOL I’d hate for you to be on YouTube! At work in the bathroom (just don't get caught by the boss!), the parking garage after dinner anywhere but in the bed!

Ladies we just need to pick it up with the bedroom game. Yes we are going to have to outsmart the man with sex just in order to get him to do things for us. I’m not saying you have to reward his behavior whether good or bad with sex. Hell something’s he should be wanted to do for the home but be honest that’s not going to happen. We have to do these things or our lives become chaotic. Men have no problem living in a messy home, eating out everyday or even worrying about what the kids walk out the house wearing. But if he is not well taken care of in the bedroom… he’ll search somewhere else to get it. And most of us have already been through that. I’m not saying that if you pick up the sex games he’ll never cheat. But it does make for a very happy relationship once the sex is taken care of.



TayhlerMade
http://twitter.com/tayhlermade